American Idol Top Seven (Again)
So Matt got a reprieve last week, which was weird. I think they just wanted to get rid of it. Is Susan Boyle eligible to win this thing? Because I’d rather her than Adam. What the fuck? Disco week? I hate this already. What is this, you ask? This…Is American Idol!
Lil Rounds
Singing: “I’m Every Woman” by Chaka Khan
Performance: You know how you win over the judges? Choose one of Randy Jackson’s “Top 100 Artists You Cannot Cover” and come out signing flat. Couldn’t she have bedazzled her shirt or wore bell bottoms or something this week? It’s Disco! Paula tries to jump to her defense…sort of…by saying Lil was really sick this week, but then Lil gets her bitch face on again and everybody’s finished with this.
Judges Say: Can we finally get rid of you now?
I Say: It wasn’t a complete disaster, but it’s over.
Change: -1
Score: -3
Kris Allen
Singing: “She Works Hard for the Money” by Donna Summer
Performance: This is…not disco. This is the Street Busker version of this song. I’ll give him a million dollars if he works “And McDonalds Treats You Right” in here. I could totally hear this on one of my sister’s mid-80s mix tapes. Ryan Seacrest is having way too much fun making fun of Kris Allen. I will say this is the first performance of his that I’ll actually ever remember.
Judges Say: We like you, even though you like women’s underwear.
I Say: I didn’t care for it as much as the judges, but it was still pretty damn solid.
Change: +1
Score: +5
Danny Gokey
Singing: “September” by Earth, Wind, and Fire
Performance: Danny is actually one of the few people here who could have actually been a popular disco artist. It fits his voice so well it’s kind of scary. Is this actually a fairly upbeat song? Especially for him? Wow! No dead wives or anything! His sisters approve! So do I actually. He’s not contemporary at all, but he really nailed the theme this week.
Judges Say: That was kind of a weird performance, but the vocals were great.
I Say: Finally! A fairly interesting song choice for him! And it worked! But…eh….
Change: +1
Score: +4
Allison Iraheta
Singing: “Hot Stuff” by Donna Summer
Performance: You *know* she’s coming out in full disco regalia, if for no other reason than because it’s not any different than what she usually wears. It’s…kind of awkward seeing her trying to slink around the stage and be sexy. That’s not really working. The background singers are kind of overpowering her here. It’s not that…it wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t very good either. I like that she tried to do something a little different, but it was just kind of weird.
Judges Say: We still want you in the finals, but it wasn’t your night.
I Say: Her worst is still better than Lil’s best, so she’s got that going for her.
Change: +/-0
Score: +6
Adam Lambert
Singing: “If I Can’t Have You” by The BeeGees
Performance: Not “Dancing Queen?” Come on, dude, this was the week! I’m digging that horrible faxback. And the ugly pinky ring. The vocals are all over the place, going from fairly decent to pretty good, actually, to What the fuck? Paula is ensorcled, she is literally shaking. Maybe that‘s the DTs. I kind of hated this. If there was any week for Adam Lambert’s shit, this was it, but it was just boring.
Judges Say: We all want to hump you, super hardcore.
I Say: I was expecting Adam Lambert’s shit, but this was just kind of shitty.
Change: +/- 0
Score: -1
Matt Giraud
Singing: “Stayin’ Alive” by The Bee Gees
Performance: Fantastic hat? Check. Completely wrong song choice? Check. White boy disco dancing? CHECK! If this is Matt’s last week on the show, this is the way to go out. Line dancing with the backup singers! This is epic. I’m so proud of him, I could almost cry. Way to go out on a high note lil’ John Mayer. Was it crappy? Yes. Was it crappy in the best way ever? Hell Yes.
Judges Say: That was super desperate, but fair enough.
I Say: Soooo wrong, but soooo right. I loved it.
Change: +1
Score: +4
Anoop Desai
Singing: “Dim All The Lights” by Donna Summer
Performance: Electronica! Pink suit! Pornstache! You cannot handle Anoop! They picked the best two train wrecks to end this show on. Fantastic. This isn’t that great a song, but Anoop is killing this. Green shoes! Fuck! Anoop is more awesome than Matt Giraud. We don’t deserve this. It was actually a pretty good performance, too.
Judges Say: Everybody kind of dug this except Simon, who is over it.
I Say: I was blinded by the pink suit and the pornstache, sorry…what?
Change: +1
Score: +1
My Bottom Three:
Anoop, Matt and Lil
Matt and Lil were already on the chopping block and did absolutely nothing to help their chances in this competition. Lil had a second chance to really showcase her particular vocal talents, and could not do it. Matt came off as pandering and desperate (in the best way, but still). Anoop was decent, but he’s clearly a weak link on this particular totem pole. Still, I think it’s going to be Matt and Lil who go home, because they’ve shown absolutely no growth from “bad to mediocre” these last few weeks.