American Idol: Season 8, Top 5
Standards night? Ugh. Adam looks diseased here. Do you suppose that’s a possibility? Only five are left! Who will be the next…Survivor? I mean this is…the Amazing Race! Er…American Idol! The judges are introduced to some sort of jazzy number. Ricky Minor is classing up this joint tonight. OH! Maybe Adam has swine flu! This week’s mentor? Jamie Foxx. Really? Huh. Kris helpfully voiceovers that Jamie Foxx is “not dead” like the Rat Pack. Thanks, man.
Kris Allen
Singing: “The Way You Look Tonight” by The Lettermen
Jamie Foxx Says: He’s my man, I want to do a record with him.
Performance: Pornstache! Kris is lookin’ sleezy, which is pretty perfect for this particular night. He’s not drunk enough to pull it off perfectly though. Michael Buble is really the only one these days that can pull off that drunk Rat Pack thing now. This was actually pretty fantastic. When the hell did this guy get better than anybody else on the show? Ridiculous.
Judges Say: You’re good but wet.
I Say: I actually really enjoyed this, which is really strange.
Change: +2
Score: +7
Allison Iraheta
Singing: “Someone to Watch Over Me” by George Gershwin
Jamie Foxx Says: Are you sure she’s 16? Aw dammit. Never mind then.
Performance: Her hair, makeup and dress are pretty awful tonight. Not that they’re not…always…but we’re trying to class this joint up tonight, Iraheta! Her voice crackles and weird phrasings are super evident in this kind of song. The show may have inadvertently sunk her, because she sounds awful here. Normally I’d just make a comment about how I’m tired I am of her stylings, but…this is just…egh.
Judges Say: We think it was great, but we don’t think you could win this anymore.
I Say: I wasn’t a big fan tonight, it was uncomfortable.
Change: -1
Score: +5
Matt Giraud
Singing: “My Funny Valentine” by Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart
Jamie Foxx Says: I forgot that I was on this show for a minute.
Performance: His phrasing is weirder than Alison’s, but he at least has the redeeming properties of the HAT. That’s the perfect hat for standards night. Gosh that’s some awful phrasing. Where’d this guy learn to sing? He can’t help but riff where Jamie told him not to riff. Matt Giraud knows better than Jamie Foxx! It’s not about the riff’s, it’s about the hat!
Judges Say: Half of us hated the performance, half of us loved it, but everybody loves the hat.
I Say: Not as ridiculous as last week, but still plenty ridiculous. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t love it either.
Change: +/-0
Score: +4
Danny Gokey
Singing: “Come Rain or Come Shine” by Harold Arlen and Johnny Mercer
Jamie Foxx Says: I want to get all up in this guy’s grill.
Performance: Dead wife alert! He’s going to love her like nobody’s loved her!
Judges Say: That was kind of a weird performance, but the vocals were great. He doesn’t look like Jamie Foxx is all up in his grill. Technically this is fine, but I still like Katherine McPhee’s performance better. Ok, fine, I just liked hers better because she was hot. This is probably a better performance. Very jazzy very…Vegas. Girl wearing draperies loves it!
The Judges Say: We really want to feel your swag.
I Say: His best performance of the season so far. Up in his grill!
Change: +2
Score: +6
Adam Lambert
Singing: “Feeling Good” by Anthony Newley and Leslie Bricusse
Jamie Foxx says: You don’t care who I am.
Performance: Like…A weird Queen cover band covering this song instead of Queen. I love this song by the way, so this kind of hurts seeing this. I like his suit anyway. This is probably one of the most “musical” standards though, which is totally why he picked it. Holy shit super long high note. Damn. Now he’s standing there looking like a damn robot. I really cannot believe this is going to win this year.
Judges Say: We love how weird, theatrical, and sleezy you are.
I Say: I’m still over this drama queen’s shit, but whatever.
Change: +1
Score: +/-0
My Bottom Two:
Matt and Allison
I don’t think anything Matt could’ve done would’ve saved him tonight. As much as you can tell this was probably his favorite theme week, he was going to be the odd man out. Allison may be the only girl left, but she’s really fallen off the table in the last few weeks, as her singing style can’t keep up with the Dannys, Krises, and Adams of the competition. She’s gotten overwhelmed. And given how awful her phrasing and pacing was tonight, I don’t think even Matt’s malaise can save her. I think Allison is out.