Hock Show Weekend Top Five For July 5th-11th, 2009
An all encompassing Top Five for the past few weeks that we missed.
1. Everybody’s Dying. Ed McMahon, Farah Faucette, Michael Jackson, that other old guy, Steve McNair…It’s not a good time to be a celebrity. Thankfully, nobody knows who I am, so I’m safe. Which is good, because I’m planning on going acid diving this week while listening to “Smooth Criminal.”
2. Sarah Palin Quits. So, how do you prove that you’re a politcal powerhouse who’s ready to assume command of the highest office in the land? Quit two years into your first term as governer or the least populace state in the U.S.! Oh, yes, the politcal pressures of the job were too much for Ms. Palin, whose duties mostly involved shooing moose out of her office and watching Russia from her house. Actually more likely than her becoming president, is her making a despirate cash grab.
3. Bruno Hits Theatres (with His Penis). I saw Bruno yesterday, and there’s about 20 minutes of graphic nudity in it, along with a extended sex scene. Now that may sound like a good time for everybody, but just be aware that ten minutes of that nudity is Sasha Baron Cohen’s penis. Not that I have anything against with Mr. Cohen, or his junk, but I think I’ve seen his crotch more than mine now….
4. Baseball Is Back in the Toilet. After a huge resurgence in the early 2000s, Major League Baseball is back in the red, with two organizations barely keeping their heads above water (the Cubs are in sale limbo and the Rangers are miles in debt), and arguably the most popular franchise, The Yankees, struggling to put fans in the seats. Even with the draw of a new stadium, the Yanks have only sold out one out of 44 games, and that was opening day. You know what the answer to baseballs problems are? Steroids.
5. Rosetta Stone Suing Google. The claim is that Google is misappropriating the Rosetta Stone copywright in advertising. Essentially, what’s happening is that Google’s AdSense is allowing other companies to put “Rosetta Stone” in the wording for any translation service. Now, Rosetta Stone Inc. does not own the words Rosetta or Stone (they belong to England or Egypt, depending, and The Flinstones, respectively), but they’re suing anyway, so it’ll be fun to see what happens when these two global titans eventually settle out of court.