Hock Show Weekend Top Five for December 20th – 26th, 2009
1. It Was Christmas! Hopefully Santa (or Hannuka Harry or whoever) brought you everything you wanted, and you had a Merry Christmas. Unless you were like me and you ended up buried under 20 feet of snow because somebody wished for a white damn Christmas. Ha Ha whoever that was. Ha. Ha.
2. David Goldman’s Bringing Sonny Back. That guy finally got to go to Brazil and pick his son up after the longest field trip of all time. After the child was traumatized by weeks of media attention, how did dad celebrate the reunion? Disney World. Because nothing will treat a child from cripplingly negative social interactions quite as fast as the Teacups.
3. Some Nigerian Guy Is an Idiot. A guy from Nigeria tried to ignite some explosive powder attached by a condom to his balls on a plane this week. He failed miserably, thankfully. No word yet on whether or not he was the last living relative of a prince, who has a great money making idea for you if you can help him get $300 milion US out of the country.
4. The Internet Is A-Changing. This actually happened a couple weeks ago, but I don’t care. This isn’t your website anyway. I just had to comment on how horrible the Fox Sports and IGN makeovers have been. All the navigation is impenetrable, and good luck finding text on either site. They’re just gigantic pictures with a caption (maybe). I don’t know who designed those sites, but whoever it was should have to hang out with Frank Caliendo for a weekend, and Caliendo has to be “in character” as his horrible Robert DeNiro the whole time.
5. Good Week/Bad Week for The Pope. On the positive side, the Vatican issued a command from His Popiness that they all love The Simpsons, and that Catholics shouldn’t be so uptight about the show’s tongue-in-cheek treatment of religion and Catholicism. On the other hand, a crazy woman attacked the pope during his Christmas Mass. For a second year in a row. Vatican Security has had better years.