Hock Show Weekend Top Five for June 27th – July 3rd, 2010
1. Happy Fourth of July. It’s the founding of our nation! Unless, of course, you don’t live in the US. But, in any event, it’s the perfect time to celebrate our freedom from tea taxes! By grilling hot dogs, drinking, and blowing our own arms off.
2. Wimbeldon Is Over. Raphael Nadal and Serena Williams continued their dominance of the tennis circles by winning the oldest tennis tournament in the world. Nobody cares at all, however, because the only thing anybody will ever remember about this year’s tournament is that 11 hour match between two guys we don’t remember.
3. Russia Knows How to Make Spies. Anna Chapman is some girl who looks like Jewel Staite and parties with rich old white dudes. She’s beautiful, charming, and has a lovely accent. Oh, yeah, and she’s totally a Russian spy, sent to…um…Be hot at us. I guess? Apparently the FBI furnished her with a fake ID to help her spying against us, because…you would too.
4. Everybody Loves Sparkly Vampires, Bad Movies. Eclipse the latest in the Twilight series is not the afformentioned “bad movie,” necessarily, but it did rake in more money than any movie before it. But I guess everybody was at the theatre this weekend, because even Avatar: The Last Airbender made $60 million, despite reviews that have it rated as one of the worst movies of all time on IMDB. Maybe people got tricked into thinking it was a sequel to Avatar? Probably not.
5. Chris Brown Is Still a Jerk. Chris Brown (Career Achievements: Beating Up Rhiana) performed a Michael Jackson tribute that the BET awards last week. At the completetion of “Man in the Mirror,” Brown was in tears, gaining back a miniscule amount of sympathy back to him. Because there’s nothing America loves more than a misogynist crying about a dead pedophile. Unless, of course, he used eye drops to induce his crying. Which he does. Still a jerk.