Hock Show Weekend Top Five for July 25th – 31st, 2010
1. Another Controversy at the Obama Camp! President Obama went on The View this week and much to everyone’s dismay, he did not offer a presidential pardon to Lindsay Lohan. He didn’t even seem that upset about her being in the big house! He also claimed not to know who Snooki was, causing some controversy, because he cracked a Jersey Shore joke at a press junket a while back. Of course, some writer wrote that speech for him, so thankfully, President Obama remains remarkably Snooki-free.
2. Starcraft Is Out. In case you hadn’t heard, Starcraft II, the sequel to the 90s’ most popular space strategy game was released this week. No I can already hear some people complaining that nobody cares about Starcraft, but the game is a goddamn sport in South Korea. A legitimate Sport, y’alls. So this is like if the NFL came out with a new version of football. Which…they probably will after the lockout. It’s just too bad it’s only the Terran campaign.
3. NFL Rookie Contracts Are Flat Out Ridiculous. People scoffed at the ridiculous deal that Matthew Stafford got last year, rolling their eyes at the fact that he immediately became one of the best paid quarterbacks in the league depsite never playing a down in the NFL. Well, Sam Bradford shattered that. The dude is going to make $50 million guaranteed out of a total $78 million contract. Sure, he has to play for the Rams, but come on. I guess now we know who much Manning and Brady are looking for.
4. Vitamin Water Isn’t. In a lawsuit filed this week it was revealed that Coca Cola’s “Vitamin Water” is about as healthy as drinking Kool-Aid and not nearly as delicous. Apparently, there are vitamins in the water, but most of them aren’t fat soluable, meaning your body won’t actually take any of them in, so all you’re getting is sugar and water. Which must come as a huge surprise to 50 Cent.
5. Nect Time, Just Carry the Pads. New Dallas Cowboy’s receiver Dez Bryant was the subject of some light hazing this week, when vetran wide out Roy Williams asked Bryant to carry his gear to the field for him. Bryant refused, saying that both men were professionals and could handle their own equipment. Now, that was very adult of the petulant Bryant, who probably could’ve said, “No, because you’re terrible and I’m here to take your roster spot.” In the end, however, Bryant tweaked his knee and will miss a bunch of time, and Roy Williams continues to get paid for doing nothing of note, so maybe Dez shouldn’t have drawn so much attention to himself.